I've always been the lazy one in class. The one who was rushing to get into the classroom before the teacher (not often successfully), who'd get alarm clocks as birthday gifts, who'd never show up for morning lectures. Until a break-through self-diagnosis came to my life:
Delayed sleep phase disorder
I somehow made it through school, because we had afternoon lessons every second week. I somehow made it through university, because lessons didn't start at 9am every day, and it wasn't mandatory to attend either. Eventually I'd even "fix" my sleeping schedule - mostly during the summer, where I could wake up at, say, 10am and still feel happy and fulfilled, instead of having to wake up much earlier for school. It never lasted more than a few weeks though - I'd always relapse after just one day of having to stay up late, or even after being told "why did you wake up so early? The other kids usually wake up around 11!"
However, a "normal" 9-to-5 job is what really hit me hard on the head.
At the very least, I can't say I didn't try. I was also lucky that they weren't very strict about punctuality, otherwise I'd have been fired after a couple of months. After countless times of hitting "stop" instead of "snooze", or of dreaming that I got up and started getting ready, I found an application called "Sleep as Android" where you can configure it to only show a snooze option up to a certain number of times, and where you can't stop it from ringing unless you scan a QR code, which I printed and stuck in the bathroom. So, yes, I tried. I even thought of using "Sleep as Android" as a sleep-phase alarm, except it rarely worked. I was usually in a very deep sleep phase during the time when I had to wake up.
And so I did wake up, and I did arrive at the office around 9. I could only start working around 10 - and we're talking about being able to open the files I was working on and start staring at them. I'd usually do something trivial until lunch time, then start being productive after lunch, so my productivity was much lower than usual. But somehow my performance was still adequate, so this ended up being the least of my worries.
The physical symptoms of waking up at "normal" times were, IMHO, the worst. I also seem to need more daylight than the average person, and I'm more affected by the lack of it, so during the winter, where I'd spend practically all of my daylight hours inside the office, I was really suffering. Headaches and exhaustion were very common. The first three days of the week were still bearable, but on Thursday I was starting to feel extremely tired. On Friday I was practically a walking zombie, longing for the night to arrive, so I'd feel awake (as always) until after midnight, but then I could at least sleep 12 hours to make up whatever I still could. I was feeling depressed and irritable. My appetite was also decreased, especially during breakfast and lunch. However, bad sleep was also affecting my metabolism in a way that made me eat less and still gain weight.
As for simply going to sleep early, it didn't work. I was often at the peak of my alertness and productivity at exactly the time when I had to go to sleep. Therefore, even if I did force myself to go to bed at that exact time, my brain was still alert and therefore I couldn't fall asleep until much later. No, binaural beats didn't work either. But at the very least I can't say I didn't try.
The most difficult part was waking up in the morning and having to decide whether I'm legitimately feeling ill or it's just my average wakeup. My waking exhaustion was often so intense that I failed to perceive other symptoms I had. I'd often just go by instinct and decide to call in sick despite feeling simply too tired, only to surprise myself around 13:00 when I'm waking up later than usual and can actually feel that I have a cold or a stomach flu.
I found myself to be much happier, more relaxed and productive after I got a job with more flexible working hours. The next step is probably to get an official diagnosis. Even though I don't have a use for it right now, I think there can be unforeseen situations where it might seem useful, and an official doctor's diagnosis will allow me to negotiate more easily than a simple self-diagnosis.
Dear reader, if you see yourself or a friend in these lines, please try to do something about it. Try to negotiate better living conditions for yourself, or offer them to your colleague. Give the aforementioned Wikipedia link to your friend and see if they recognize themselves the way I did. I silently suffer every time I think about how many people label themselves "lazy" and continue living unhealthily but "normally".
Delayed sleep phase disorder
I somehow made it through school, because we had afternoon lessons every second week. I somehow made it through university, because lessons didn't start at 9am every day, and it wasn't mandatory to attend either. Eventually I'd even "fix" my sleeping schedule - mostly during the summer, where I could wake up at, say, 10am and still feel happy and fulfilled, instead of having to wake up much earlier for school. It never lasted more than a few weeks though - I'd always relapse after just one day of having to stay up late, or even after being told "why did you wake up so early? The other kids usually wake up around 11!"
However, a "normal" 9-to-5 job is what really hit me hard on the head.
At the very least, I can't say I didn't try. I was also lucky that they weren't very strict about punctuality, otherwise I'd have been fired after a couple of months. After countless times of hitting "stop" instead of "snooze", or of dreaming that I got up and started getting ready, I found an application called "Sleep as Android" where you can configure it to only show a snooze option up to a certain number of times, and where you can't stop it from ringing unless you scan a QR code, which I printed and stuck in the bathroom. So, yes, I tried. I even thought of using "Sleep as Android" as a sleep-phase alarm, except it rarely worked. I was usually in a very deep sleep phase during the time when I had to wake up.
And so I did wake up, and I did arrive at the office around 9. I could only start working around 10 - and we're talking about being able to open the files I was working on and start staring at them. I'd usually do something trivial until lunch time, then start being productive after lunch, so my productivity was much lower than usual. But somehow my performance was still adequate, so this ended up being the least of my worries.
The physical symptoms of waking up at "normal" times were, IMHO, the worst. I also seem to need more daylight than the average person, and I'm more affected by the lack of it, so during the winter, where I'd spend practically all of my daylight hours inside the office, I was really suffering. Headaches and exhaustion were very common. The first three days of the week were still bearable, but on Thursday I was starting to feel extremely tired. On Friday I was practically a walking zombie, longing for the night to arrive, so I'd feel awake (as always) until after midnight, but then I could at least sleep 12 hours to make up whatever I still could. I was feeling depressed and irritable. My appetite was also decreased, especially during breakfast and lunch. However, bad sleep was also affecting my metabolism in a way that made me eat less and still gain weight.
As for simply going to sleep early, it didn't work. I was often at the peak of my alertness and productivity at exactly the time when I had to go to sleep. Therefore, even if I did force myself to go to bed at that exact time, my brain was still alert and therefore I couldn't fall asleep until much later. No, binaural beats didn't work either. But at the very least I can't say I didn't try.
The most difficult part was waking up in the morning and having to decide whether I'm legitimately feeling ill or it's just my average wakeup. My waking exhaustion was often so intense that I failed to perceive other symptoms I had. I'd often just go by instinct and decide to call in sick despite feeling simply too tired, only to surprise myself around 13:00 when I'm waking up later than usual and can actually feel that I have a cold or a stomach flu.
I found myself to be much happier, more relaxed and productive after I got a job with more flexible working hours. The next step is probably to get an official diagnosis. Even though I don't have a use for it right now, I think there can be unforeseen situations where it might seem useful, and an official doctor's diagnosis will allow me to negotiate more easily than a simple self-diagnosis.
Dear reader, if you see yourself or a friend in these lines, please try to do something about it. Try to negotiate better living conditions for yourself, or offer them to your colleague. Give the aforementioned Wikipedia link to your friend and see if they recognize themselves the way I did. I silently suffer every time I think about how many people label themselves "lazy" and continue living unhealthily but "normally".
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